Hello, health enthusiasts, and welcome to Rev Up Health, your go-to podcast for all things wellness. I'm Dr. Mark Hechler, and I'm Tandi Hechler. Together we're here to fuel your health journey with the best of functional medicine and holistic well-being. Each episode, we'll dive deep into topics that matter to your health, bringing you the latest insights, research, and inspiring stories. Whether you're on a quest for vibrant health or just looking for daily health tips, we've got you covered. So let's embark on this journey together and transform the way you live. So, Tandi, what's on our wellness radar for today?
Hello, and welcome to the Rev Up Health Podcast. Today on the podcast, we're going to be talking about what being on a health journey looks like if you and your partner don't have the same goals. Somebody may be very interested and motivated to take care of their health, and then you have the other partner or other family members who just don't have that interest or motivation, or who are interested in other things. There are a couple of different takes on this, so we just want to talk through it. Mark, you had a really good analogy that's a good thing to follow.
Put Your Own Mask on First
You can think of it as "put your own mask on first." On airlines, they tell you, if you have children, to put your own mask on first and then take care of the one beside you. That's kind of what you have to do when you're talking about your health, because you're the only one who's going to do it — you can't rely on somebody else to put your mask on. You're the one who's got to take care of your health, and then you can hope that if these other people have an interest, they'll maybe follow suit. Motivating yourself is the first line of defense in improving your health and quality of life.
Communication and Support
Communication is going to be huge. We oftentimes get in a habit of not really communicating our needs to our partners and families. It's going to have to be ongoing communication. When you make this decision to consciously take care of yourself and your own health, you need to let others know what your plan is. That doesn't mean they need to, or want to — they may not, or in the future they may have an interest in it — but right now, at this point in time, where your feet stand is where you are. So you need to communicate: "This is what I want to do, and I hope you're going to support me." Support is a big issue, and it's a two-way street.
You may find that even though your partner or family is supportive of you, you may need additional support outside of that — support with a coach, potentially, or a running club, or a nurse coach. That's what we do at Revelation Health and Wellbeing too — Tandi does nurse coaching. You don't have to do it alone. Some folks like to do those things alone — I'm very well motivated to do things by myself; I don't typically run in groups, I like to run alone. But there are some individuals who just need that motivation, communication, and social interaction — it motivates them, gives them a reason to get out of bed in the morning, or a reason to go to the gym. I have always been one who does a lot better in a group fitness setting — somewhere I'm going where there are other people. That's always been easier for me, and I know that. And I support you in that. It doesn't mean I want to do it, obviously, but I certainly support you in doing it, because I know it motivates you.
So — communication, and finding the support. The support may be, like we said, finding a running club, or joining a gym or a membership, but something that keeps you going.
Exercise: Finding Common Ground
Exercise is only one piece of the health journey. It could be that maybe your partner is interested in running a marathon and you are not, so it's finding common ground — ways you could potentially work out together or side by side. Frequently, we'll go and you'll run and I'll walk, and we'll come back together — I'll run out and come back, or run around and come back. We still at least do the activity that we enjoy, because if you don't enjoy it, you're not going to have that motivation, and consistency is the key. Consistency of any exercise is the key. If there are situations where maybe we can both agree, "Let's try to do something on a level playing field," then maybe we bike or we hike.
The other piece is that it takes some experimentation — trying new things and seeing if there's another thing you could potentially do together that would get you both out there doing something.
Let's say you both like running, but one of you is a lot faster than the other. You can be creative. What I used to do with you is take a couple of small weights, and that would add a lot more physical activity for me — I couldn't go as fast, but that was just right for your speed. That was when we were training for the 29029, and we were doing the stadium stairs and climbing, and we could still do it together. Good for me — I get extra benefit. You can also think of something as simple as hiking, or what we call rucking, where you have the weighted vests. Maybe if we're both going to go out to do the rucking, I have a heavier vest than you do — something like that that evens the playing field will make it a little more enjoyable for both parties.
Nutrition
The next thing on the list would be nutrition. How do you handle nutrition when you're trying to eat healthier, more clean foods — maybe less, if you're trying intermittent fasting? One of the hardest things you and I have is that I try not to snack close to bedtime, and you often like to snack. I have a hard time with later in the night. Some people have a lot of heartburn problems and cannot eat two to four hours before they go to bed, whereas I can eat a full meal up to dinnertime and go to bed. Now, that's not good for you, but it's something that doesn't bother me.
That also comes with the fact that you like to eat early — we both like to eat early — but sometimes at the end of the day I like to get a run in before dinner, so I can have a good run. If I'm running on a full stomach, I can do it, but I just don't get a good quality run in. So it makes it a little difficult sometimes.
A lot of the things for all these different areas of your health that you're trying to improve — this is going to come in line — but trying new things, experimenting with different types of foods and different sauces, creates a little variety. Spice it up, find ways to find a happy medium or a compromise. It may be that there are still pizza nights — we have pizza a lot, but we try to have a gluten-free crust or cauliflower crust, looking for ways to get more veggies in there.
This is huge even for families, because a lot of times you're living in the same house with people who don't really care to eat the same way you do, and you're not going to cook more than one meal — so how do you bring that together? It may be just having some additional sides — cook a few more things, so if "I don't like mushrooms," or "I don't like onions," you can have a little more variety.
Trying to create those perfect meals is not an easy situation for folks, especially if you have kids. It's different when it's just you and me, but when we start throwing any children into the mix, it makes it a lot more difficult — not all adults like to eat chicken nuggets and fries all the time.
Sleep
Another thing that can be challenging is sleep. When you're trying to improve your health and get more sleep, it makes a big difference when you and your partner aren't going to bed at the same time — not that you always have to, but depending on your circumstances. If you have a house with a close living room and bedroom, and your partner's up watching TV later while you're trying to get to sleep, this is another thing where you're communicating what you need and what your goals are. Just knowing that you have to have an agreement — we have to get seven or eight hours of sleep. It's just really imperative, because that's how the body heals and repairs. If you're not able to get those hours, you've got to do something: someone's got to get to bed earlier, somebody's got to stay up late, get up later or earlier — it just depends on how you need to do it.
Another thing that plays into sleep patterns is your work schedules. Some people may work nights, or later toward the evening; others have to get up real early. I've got a lot of friends whose spouse or significant other has to get up at 3:00 in the morning, so that means they've got to get to bed really early, and it makes it tough. Getting up early is another one — some people like to get their exercise in in the morning before work — so just being mindful of how those things are affecting your household.
Sleep is a very important aspect, and obviously when we travel, we have a lot of trouble getting appropriate sleep. But I think communication is the important part of the whole thing: "This is the reason why I'm having to get to sleep, this is the reason why I'm having to do the nutrition," etc. That communication continues to come back around.
As You Feel Better, Others May Follow
The other piece is just remembering that as you're taking care of yourself and doing these things to help all the different parts of your health, as you start to feel better, it's very possible that the people around you are going to be like, "Oh, that's pretty interesting." They may get on board eventually. Just because they're not on board right now doesn't mean they won't be at some point. If they see that you're having success, feeling better, and the numbers are looking better — your body composition scores are getting better — then they may feel like, "Okay, maybe this is for me too, maybe I need to give it a try."
Other Sources of Help
The other thing that's very important in this situation: if you've communicated your needs and you're finding that you're not getting the support you need, there is other help. You can talk about seeing a therapist — either a couples' therapist or a therapist for yourself — who can help you navigate and come up with tips and tricks on how to keep going. And plug into those support groups, whether it's your friend group, your running club, a good friend, your doctor, or a nurse coach. It could be a lot of varieties of things.
I think that's one of the benefits we have in our practice — this ongoing, constant communication. It's a helpline between where a person is and where they want to be. It's a navigating journey, and we have to help them as much as they actually help us — it helps us too. It's also important to remember, just like when you're dealing with your kids and they don't always want to listen to Mom or Dad, if somebody else tells them the exact same thing they've heard, it's different coming from a third or fourth party. That's the same for the situation with your partner or other family members.
Racing and Family Support
I've noticed at some of the races that it may not be that both partners have a similar interest in performing the race — one may just have the interest in being in that healthy state, and the other is a support group that's there to encourage them, whether at the start line, the finish line, or along the route. I love seeing family out when I'm running these races — seeing family on the sidelines helping and assisting their family members. I get a kick out of it, and it's motivating for me, and they're not even related to me.
That's another great way, if you're interested in races, which we are — that's one of the reasons we talk about it. We've used it as a way to travel and see new places, and it gives us a common interest. We've done races lots of different ways: races where we each go and run our own race; races where we run the same race and one of us is running ahead while the other is going slower; races where you've gone at a slower pace with me, and they started at different times. I love it when they start at just the right time where we can both try to finish together. And we've done races where I was just a support on the sideline.
Family gets motivation from that too. Seeing that kind of joy and happiness, and the ability of somebody to put forth effort and accomplish something, is a motivating factor for family members — maybe it's, "Okay, maybe I need to try to do something better to improve my health, and I think I could do that 5K, or that 10K, or half marathon or full." So it helps them too. And it's a really fun thing that most races have different levels you can get into. I remember the first triathlon I did, they had a kids' triathlon and a little fun run, so that was really fun for the girls to do while I was doing that triathlon.
You're Not Alone
Family support is really important, and it's certainly something that's overlooked. You may not have that family support — you may be single or independent, and you travel and you're doing it alone, and it's hard to be motivated in those situations. But there is always support out there; you just have to look for it, ask for it, and communicate those things.
I have even known people at work who start a health journey and have to let their co-workers know, "Hey, this is what I'm doing, I'm not planning on partaking in the potluck because I'm eating my healthy things." And then those co-workers see that and it's like, "Well, maybe I don't need to do that today." For instance, in my work environment, we've got an event coming up where just about everybody in the office — the surgical center and the clinic side — are going to enter a race. We want to keep it simple; it's more about just having fun, doing the team building and camaraderie. So that's another good social interaction and motivator.
I hope you got some good tips and tricks. If you have questions, or if you need support, reach out, because that's what we're here for — that's what we do. And there are a lot of functional and integrative medicine practices other than ours that do this, so that's a good place to start. If you stick with it and stay consistent, I think you're going to find your health journey is going to be a little easier. Once you get moving in it, it's hard not to do it every day — it gets to be addictive. All right, thanks so much for joining. Have a great, healthy day.
Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Rev Up Health. We hope you're leaving with some valuable insights to supercharge your health journey. Don't forget to follow or subscribe to Rev Up Health wherever you listen to your podcasts, and if you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a rating and review. Have a topic you want us to explore? Reach out to us on our social media channels — we love hearing from our wellness community. Until next time, keep thriving, and remember: your journey to health is a journey to a better you. Stay well, and we'll connect with you again soon. This is Tandi, and this is Dr. Mark, signing off from Rev Up Health. Take care.
The information provided in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. The content is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient and their healthcare provider. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your healthcare regimen, including diet, exercise, or treatment plans. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the hosts and guests and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Revelation Health and Wellbeing.